Thursday, January 12, 2012

What's In Your Purse?

My lips are always in desperate need of gloss during the winter. I keep a stash of balms in my purse, so a little while ago I grabbed my bag and rooted around the pockets, but didn’t immediately find what I needed.

Instead, these are the things I found:

- A medal for Kid #2 finishing the one-mile Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving Day – (She was soo cute and proud of herself when she crossed the finish line!)

- A Wrigley’s wrapper with a stale, half piece of never chewed gum – (Eww.)

- Receipts, gobs of them – (Another sign we spend too much money!)

- An unused Long John Silvers toy – (Do we even eat there??)

- Five binkies - (Pacifiers for those of you not in the know.)

- Bills – (Can I just burn those???)

- Checkbook – (Yes, I still carry one.)

- Wallet – (I’m only posting this so you know I use my purse for one of its true purposes!)

- One of Kid #3’s socks – (Why only one I have no idea!)

- Two of Kid #3’s headbands – (I feel like the Count on Sesame Street.)

- Three of Kid #3’s hair clips – (Or maybe the owl from the Tootsie Roll commercials . . . One, Two, Three: Three licks to the center of the tootsie roll pop.)

- Lip gloss – (HEY! I FOUND IT!!!)

- A plastic beaded necklace – (No, not from Mardis Gras. Just another one of Kid #2’s additions to my purse.)

- Rings inside of balls bought from the bowling alley’s toy machine – (What can I say, the kids love that crap, but it always winds up in my bag.)

- An uneaten and very smushed Gerber’s Graduates bar – (Anyone hungry??)

- Crayons – (These I actually put in there. I take them from restaurants and then give them to my kids when we’re somewhere and they’re bored.)

- Hair ties – (A combo of Kid #2 and Kid #3. Sigh.)

- A screw – (That’s from the hubby.)

- A paperclip – (No idea.)

- Princess Pencil – (It’s possible I put this in my purse as “decorative” pencils are all we have in our house.)

- Racecar pencil – (Ditto.)

- Balloons – (Erm . . . not sure where they came from.)

Finding all these crazy items had me scratching my head and wondering if this purse I carry around with me everywhere really belongs to me. All the odd contents certainly explain why my bag is so heavy.

So what’s in your purse??


  1. I got nothing in my purse. Just tons of lipstick, gloss, hairbands, tissues, a checkbook, my big fat wallet, my two phones, my purse hanger, my gloves, my hat, my deodorant (very important!!), my sunscreen (ha in NY! What a joke!), make-up, keys, a big bag full of stuff (including some pain killers and a nail file), and my sewing kit...

    Like I said. Nothing. My purse is so light, I don't even need one. LOL

  2. Okay first off LMAO because I can just imagine all the crap that can be stuffed in a purse....UNIMAGINABLE THINGS. Hmmmm, what's in my purse???

    A mini umbrella
    Half open kleenex pack
    Hair brush
    *clears throat* Sanitary Tissues for Women *Ahem* lol
    A broken candy cane :) Yummy
    Hair pin
    And a Pencil

    For someone who does not like writing, I sure do have a lot of writing utensils. I think I should starting putting more random stuff in my purse lol. This was a great blog!

  3. Oh, JKP, nothing at all, huh? LOL. I'm trying to figure out why you have sunscreen in your purse in the middle of winter...IN NEW YORK!

    Maybe your purse is trying to tell you to take up writing, Kimmy? Haha. But you definitely have all the personal care accessories in your brush, hair pin, comb, kleenex, lotion... I know who to go to when my hair's a wreck!

  4. Ha! Nothing! LOL I don't carry one. I carry a backpack instead! LOL OMG that sounded sooo sad. LOL However, the contents of your purse weren't far from the contents of my backpack (call me Dora LOL), aside from the checkbook of course. LOL

    Our bags represent who we are...caretakers, girl scouts, nurses, hairdresser...etc. :P

  5. Anonymous1/12/2012

    I just cleaned ou my bag because it weighed close to ten pounds - no joke. You should always carry a paperclip and tweesers in your bag because you never know when you might need to pick a lock. True story. So... in my bag:
    a pair of little boy's socks, because he never ever keeps them on his feet. Five, count them - FIVE - tubes of soft lips lip balm. My coach wallet including the check book. A bill from Oklahoma, receipts from walmart and target (I miss you!) Two pens, loose change, my military id that isn't where it should be, my loose debit card, because I didn't put it where it should be, a really nasty pacifier, keys to my truck - no wonder I can't find them - my kindle, gps, a new diaper, and the hospital band from when little man was admitted a few weeks ago.

    I may just steal this idea!

  6. Let's see...wallet, makeup bag, contact lens case, glasses case, contact lens solution, mini body spray, a notebook, my Kindle, a mini notebook, business card case, sinus pills, hand sanitizer (2 of them), 2 pens, 2 Sharpies, a pair of gloves. Sigh. And yes, it's heavy.

  7. Anonymous1/12/2012

    I forgot to add, that despite me cleaning out my bag, I still had all this junk in there!

  8. I don't have a purse - however, I just found the contents of your last purse clean-out buried in my in-box

  9. Backpack, Backpack. Now I have that stupid song stuck in my head. Thanks, Tania! ;-)

    Okay, Melissa, at least you have a PAIR of socks. I just have ONE. lol

    Two sharpies, Sandra? I'm amazed you've managed to KEEP any sharpies. Every time I buy them they disappear!

  10. Hahhaa. Sorry, Bert! Just trash 'em!

  11. This comment has been removed by the author.

  12. Sheree1/12/2012

    Ah my purse you say while I say which one. Currently have four on the go and three of them are black. Go figure.
    Contents include funny enough no wallet but a small zip change purse that holds not change but overseas stamps and airmail stickers that I bought last Christmas as in 2010 not 11.( I live away from home but apparently write to no one) Writing paper( pink and blue) I live in hope. Book vouchers , hair salon vouchers, iTunes vouchers all in their Chrustmas envelopes. Phone, receipts ( paid for ) bills( not paid for but hey I live in hope) My current book, a full size shopping bag as I am to cheap to pay 23 cents every time I want to buy something, brolly, gum, big bag of mints in three kinds, chocolate bar . Ah and that's just the front compartment:) Ah what are we like lol

  13. Anonymous1/12/2012

    Sandra, I usually keep a mini notebook in mine, too! You never know when a plot or idea is going to pop into your head!

  14. Literally inspired from your post. This is what's in my purse :D

  15. Oh, Mistress, I don't know why you removed your comment. It was great!

    And, Sheree, you just need to LOAD those itunes vouchers right onto your iphone/ipod! Now. Don't lose them!

    Melissa, that's what voice recorders are for!

    Glad I could inspire you, Candida!

  16. Okay, Krystal...for my "every day" purse, I have most of the basics, and they add up in a hurry! Two cell phones, a wallet, four pens, a pack of gum, a business card holder, a GPS (yes, I carry it in my purse), two bottles of hand sanitizer, a travel pack of tissues, girly items, makeup, two of my daughter's barrettes (no, they don't match), an assortment of paper clips, loose business cards from vendors, and more receipts than should possibly fit.

    When I carry my wedding planner bag, however, you can add a sewing kit, Band-aids, safety pins, travel hair spray and deodorant, scissors, tape (wardrobe and Scotch), a comb, wedding music CDs, a lighter, a Swiss Army knife, a penlight, and extra tissues. asked! lol

  17. I hate purses. They are evidence of my negligent house-keeping, addictions, indebtedness, and chronic inability to get rid of anything. Until now. I've just emptied it onto the floor where there lies:

    At least a dozen loose Tic Tacs covered with little bits of tobacco.

    Frayed wallet - empty bar rubber credit cards, tatty photos, post-it notes to me, an IOU from my son, driver's license still with my married name (must do something about that), 3 coffee loyalty cards, a Miraculous Medal given to me by my Mother - why?

    Two mangled tampons that are going nowhere near my fanny I can tell you.

    Sterling coins from a trip to London that was at last 3 years ago where I had the worst bust-up ever with the lover.

    Several nicotine patches (unopened), nicotine gum, packet of fags (4 left until the morning), chewed plastic nicotine imitation fag (a binkie for smokers), 3 lighters (1 working).

    Melted throat lozenge stuck to wrapper and oozing at the seams.

    TV Licence renewal bill due 9 momths ago.

    Cheque book last used for hairdresser E120 (E120!) but you should see my hair.

    1 Sexy Mother Pucker - botox for lips in a tube for the over forties last chance trendy brigade who like to pucker up once in a while.

    Leaky ballpoint pens.

    A scrunchy (daugher's).

    A Barbie doll head (daughter's).

    Half a dozen scraps of paper containing what I'm sure are Pulitzer-prize winning ideas if only I could read them.

    3 Christmas cards - addressed, stamped and ready to send on time next Christmas.

    Loose Kleenexes that either may have or may not haven been used - there's no way to be sure one way or another.

    iPhone re-charger.

    Sratched sunglasses.

    2 disc batteries.

    SIM card.

    2nd mobile phone.

    Witch Hazel stick of unknown vintage and without its top.

    This list is depressing - so I'm stopping now.


    PS. Love binkies - we call them dodies here.

  18. Hi Krystal! LOL I dare not look in mine. It's the deep, dark abyss to be avoided at all costs. That's until I can't force anything else in there:)When my daughter was small she used to beg me for it to take everything out,one by one. Kept her busy for hours!

  19. OK, here goes:

    My shoulderbag contains:

    - My purse, which in turn has in it two wallets, a pencil case for my USB sticks and several other connective devices, a Bible quote, a number of tampons and pads, a pen, a nailfile, several receipts, coupons and other sundry bits of paper, a small shopping bag, my cellphone and car charger, keys, ID pass and bus pass, lipgloss, lipstick, tissues, camera.
    - Three foldup cloth bags.
    - A Bible.
    - My iPod, headphones, charger.
    - Various official paperwork I am supposed to be dealing with.
    - A woollen scarf.
    - Assorted teabags.
    - Painkillers.
    - Vitamins and other tablets.
    - Four packets of tissues.
    - A pair of black gloves.
    - My sunglasses in a case.

    And yes, it's all far too heavy!

  20. I used to have similar issues with my big bottomless purses. A few months ago I got fed up and made myself have a dinky purse that can just mostly fit my wallet, phone, glasses and keys. A few other things wander in there but not much!

  21. I LOVE THESE COMMENTS! Teabags! And Caren, I cannot BELIEVE the contents of your purse! Incredibly scary.

    Raine, just the thought of TWO bags makes me shudder! Eeep!

  22. Um...this is funny. You can thank Kirkus for leading me here. I used to be a frantic blogger years back (it led to horrors I need not describe here). Of course it didn't stop me from starting a new one. :) I'm going to follow you on Twitter, Krystal!

  23. Well thank you, Sean! I'm so glad you commented, even though I'm positive you don't own a purse. :-) Maybe you do...I guess that's possible.

    *Going to twitter now*

  24. I'm a dude and I carry a "murse"
    Tiny firstaid kit with bandaids and Neosporin
    Point & shoot camera
    Gate card for condo complex gate
    eye drops
    breath mints

  25. Why does your murse sounds so much more organized than my purse? You don't have kids, do you?

  26. The half-stick of gum got me. When I was a kid, my mother's purse (I'm from the east coast, where it's inexplicably called a pocketbook) overflowed with them. She could never go for the half she dropped in her purse, but rather tear a new one in half. As much of a disaster her purse was, it always smelled of mint.

  27. That was too funny. I found half a smushed chocolate chip granola bar in the purse. No clue how long it had been there. My question is how on earth did you have that much stuff in your purse? Just how big is it? LOL

  28. Once my kids were grown, I opted for the smaller purse. (Yes, I remember the small first aid kit.) So now all that junk is in the side compartment in my car! We can't escape the clutter.

  29. My purse definitely does NOT smell like fact, I'm not gonna stick my nose in it to see what it does smell like. So glad you loved this blog, Sean! :-) I'm always searching for more "spare time".

    My purse is large, but not over sized like some. I didn't say all that stuff was "organized" in there. That's the problem...everything is just kind of shoved in.

    Clutter is EVERYWHERE, Marsha! I try to keep it out of my car though. That's MY space. :-)

  30. Anonymous1/13/2012

    Look at me coming late to the party. I’ve had this crap thrown out all over my bed all day waiting for a chance to take stock and tell you about it. Truth is, I‘ve been using a little purse with nothing but my wallet and phone all week. BUT… I have my big boy that I use on the weekends and apparently haven’t cleaned out since our return home from the cruise. Are you ready?

    check book (left in there from the last doctor’s visit. Don’t usually carry it)
    reading glasses
    hand sanitizer
    shout wipe & go wipes
    pack of gum (I don’t chew it – interesting)
    small makeup bag
    oil absorbing sheets
    hand lotion
    thumb drive
    daughter’s inhaler
    pill box
    breath mints (werewolf silver bullets)
    nail clipper
    1 kids green barrette
    2 hair clips
    5 hairbands
    1 Hello Kitty Band-Aid
    1 Crystal light packet
    3 chap sticks
    4 different colored pens
    1 highlighter
    1 grocery store game card
    2 receipts
    3 mini packs of Claritin (kids and adult)
    I pack of Zomig
    2 bottles of Dramamine (unused on the trip)
    1 Mickey Mouse paper clip
    2 Disney Vacation Club ornaments
    5 Steam Boat Willey pins
    1 compactly rolled shopping bag

    No wallet, keys, sunglasses or phone because the wallet gets transferred back and forth and the other things go on a hook or with me when I come in the door. It’s crazy when we look inside our purses, isn’t it? I usually have a bottled water in there when I am on the go.

  31. Anonymous1/13/2012

    Wow! That looks really long once I publish it. Dang! - laughing at self!

  32. Ha! This post (and its comments) are hilarious. Lessee, I have:

    1) My lipstick
    2) A gloss
    3) Tweezers
    4) A compact mirror (I'm starting to get the feeling that I'm a little vain...)
    5) A couple of tampons
    6) Two pairs of sunglasses
    7) My prescription glasses
    8) A mini bottle of contact solution
    9) A contact case
    10) Several pens
    11) A handful of receipts and movie tickets
    12) A book of stamps (I know, but they're the first I've bought in six months--that counts for something, right?)
    13) Wallet
    14) Three checkbooks, because my life is much too complicated

  33. I am quite jealous if your fun weekend, although not so much of your burned temple. I've never gotten into shooting handguns being more of a rifle girl myself...but that does look like a blast
    bullet stickers


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