Smell Those Effing Roses, Baby #inspiration

As usual on a gloomy, rainy morning, I sat in gridlocked traffic with my friendly slugs. Somehow, our conversation morphed into one of my regular riders mentioning how his former poker buddies were impressed with how well he's settled into his new life: new house, great job, nice things.

Ahh, to be young, unmarried, and kidless. (Nope, can't really imagine that being a good life. Despite all my crazy, hectic, hair-pulling schedules and issues, I wouldn't trade my family in for anything.)

Since I'm usually one to offer bullsh*t advice to almost strangers, I said to him, "You should be impressed and happy with yourself, too. Stop and smell the roses every once in awhile."

"Nah," he said, "Maybe when I own more, bigger, better."

Ha. (For those who know me well, you know what's coming: a cheesy piece of real life experience.) "I mean it. It's okay to want more, growth, but one day when shit falls apart you won't have any good memories to pull you through because you never stopped and said, 'Damn, I've done good.'"

Stop trying to correct my grammar. It was conversation.

Of course, when I offer advice to unsuspecting victims—I mean slugs—I look inward. Make sure I'm following my own wisdom.

I realized I wasn't. I hardly ever do.

My poor friend Susie listens to me lament almost daily about how I suck as an author, how my books are no good, how I'm no good, how I'm an imposter. She usually reminds me by saying something like, "Krystal, you've been published three times, have a ton of amazing reviews, have adoring fans, just snagged an agent for your newest book, and you're being considered by editors of the Big Houses. Seriously?"

Then I feel stupid, like I was fishing for compliments. Although, I wasn't. I want more, bigger, better. (Imagine me saying that in a dreamy voice with stars in my eyes, k?)

Maybe I need to stop and smell the roses. Maybe I need to live in these amazing moments and commit them to memory. One day shit will hit the fan. Something bad always happens. But without any good memories, how will I pull through?

Do you ever forget to pause and reflect? To say, "Damn, I've done good"?

Get out there and smell those roses.

Read More

Rules for Reviews

I don't often post about writing. I usually refrain from offering unwarranted advice, unless you're close to me and I know something that will help you. Which is maybe what's going on here today. I know something that so many authors and writers do not, and I want to share this wisdom. I want to ease your suffering. I want to end world hunger . . . .

You really think I've gone too far?

Fine.

Ending world hunger would be nice, though.

So, what, you ask, could I possibly tell you that you don't already know? Nothing new, really, more like a way to cope with reviews. But while you may know that you have to cope, you don't know how to apply methods to ease the pain and obsession that comes with reviews.

For those of you who are unpublished, maybe you won't believe this will affect you. For those of you who only recently released a book, you probably think you'll get over this soon. Obsess about it for a week and move on.

Well, I'm here to tell you that unless you make a conscious effort to protect yourself, you're in for a long, bumpy road.

How do I think you should deal?

Thanks for asking!

A) Before and during writing a book, during submissions to publishers/agents, pretty much ALWAYS remember that you WRITE FOR YOU.

B) When you ask your mom what she thinks, your friends, your neighbors, coworkers, critique partners, agents, publishers, etc, do not let their response decide your happiness. Be happy with what you've written. The rest is just a way to make it better. (This also goes along with part a.)

C) Reviews are for readers, not writers. While I do believe there is something that can be learned from reading reviews, if you cannot read a negative one and walk away from it with a smile on your face, then DON'T READ THEM AT ALL.

D) Do not waste time scouring Goodreads, Amazon, B&N, Google, for updated ratings and reviews of you and your book. You are a writer. SO WRITE. You want to make money at this? You will not make money staring at sales rankings. You will not make money crying over mediocre reviews.

E) Do not judge your worth as an author by an average rating. So what if your rating is 3.5 overall? Not everyone gets it right every time. Someone believed in you and took a chance with your book. Is that the last one you'll ever write? Only if all you do is cry over your "dismal" success. JUST KEEP WRITING.

F) If you feel you MUST read these things, then make sure you're wearing your Wonder Woman panties (or Superman, I don't discriminate). Make sure you have a support group. Make sure you take all of my above rules into account.

You will get through this, and it will be easier if you shut down to these things and JUST KEEP WRITING.

Written with all the love in my heart,

<3 Krystal

Read More