Success and Failure

I've repeated my catch phrase so many times I'm sure you all have it memorized: mother of three who works fifty miles from home and writes in her "spare time".

But the truth is, as denoted by the quotes, I don't have any spare time. I want to succeed as an author so I make time to write. Whether I'm daydreaming on my commute, chugging out the words during my two fifteen minute breaks and half hour lunch at work, or carting the laptop all around my house with me till eleven or later every evening, you can be sure I'm writing . . . or doing something writing related.

But how long can I treat my body this way? I don't take breaks, and I get very little sleep. After dinner a couple nights ago I crashed on the couch. Very rare for me. For a few weeks now my body has been screaming to take a break, but I've been ignoring it.

I’m so afraid of being a failure I forget my body can fail. I've written two and a half novels in a year, started a successful blog, earned a nice following on Twitter and Facebook, and yet here I am, afraid if I slow down my much needed moment of rest will somehow mark the beginning of the end for me.

Why?

Writing out my successes makes worrying about failure seem silly, but in this fast paced world it seems if we take any time off we get left behind.

I don’t want to be left behind, but I also don’t want to be wearing two nasty black bags under my eyes if Good Morning America ever calls me up for an interview.

So what do I do? How do I find balance again? How can I manage to be successful at my day job, at parenting, at being a wife, at writing, at taking over the world all while managing to get adequate rest?

That was a rhetorical question . . . don’t try to answer it because I don’t think there is really any right answer, but my answer is this: SOMEHOW!

Because I want to be successful as a mother, as a wife, and as a writer, I will do whatever it takes. If it means staying up late every day for a year while pumping out two kick ass novels (at least in my opinion) then that’s what I’ll do. If it means falling over practically dead on the couch and sleeping twelve hours straight to catch up on sleep then that’s what I’ll do. If it means taking a week or two off here and there to spend time with my kids and husband while forgetting about the writing world for awhile then that’s what I’ll do.

I need to listen to my body, listen to my family, and I have to stop being afraid of failing because I’ve already found success.