Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Trip to the Store

I don't know why we do it, take all our kids to the store with us. I'm not sure if it's truly family time, or if we just enjoy torturing our children—and ourselves. But, nonetheless, we all pile into the car and hit the grocery aisles together.

Sometimes having five people works to our advantage. We find items on our list quicker when the twelve-year-old searches with us. We remember to buy things we otherwise would have forgotten when the six-year-old is with us (I still can't believe she's SIX!).

But there are other days when a singular thought SCREAMS through my head, "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING???"

Yesterday was one of those days. This is how our trip went.

Kid #1 to Kid #2: Would you stop looking at me?

Me: Enough. I know you're mad at me because I won't let you read that book, but stop taking it out on everyone else. Seriously, your sister is looking at you. Get over it.

Kid #1 huffed and lagged behind.

Kid #2 pushed away Kid #3: Stop, stop, stop. Mommy, she's trying to lick me.

Me: Gross, Rissa. *Sticks arm between them and pushes them away from each other* (Why do they make carts with dual seats again?)

Kid #3 smiled and stuck out her tongue, and the hubs wandered off to collect items on our list . . . alone.


Kid #2 screamed—in the store!

Me: Abby, shhh.

Kid #2: But she keeps trying to lick me.

Me *Takes kid #2 out of shopping cart*: How about you walk for a while?

I loaded a few items into the buggy as my husband rounded the corner—thank God—and added his loot to the rest of the pile.

Hubs: Was that Abby I heard screaming two aisles over?

Me: *Glares*

Kid #1 ran up the aisle with Kid #2 hot on his trail: Get away from me.

Hubs: Get over here, both of you!

I glanced around to make sure no one was watching our horrible parenting skills.

Kid #2 wailed: He hit me!

Me *puts her back in cart with licking sister*: Ethan, why can't you just get along with her?

Kid #1: She's mean and annoying and—

Me: I get it. It's impossible. When are you going to learn to be the bigger person?

Kid #1 rolled his eyes.

Hubs wandered off again while the rest of us perused the produce section. Somewhere near the potatoes, Kid #3 started growling like a dinosaur, at the top of her lungs. Everyone in the store looked our way.

Me, under my breath: Rissa, stop.

Kid #3 leaned her head back and roaaaaarrreeeed again.

I laughed. What else could I do? She wasn't crying? She was just being a toddler, a creative, imaginative toddler. While the roaring was quite loud, my request to make her stop only made her louder.

Kid #1: I'm so embarrassed. What's wrong with her?

Me: Same thing that was wrong with you when you were this age.

Kid #1 rambled on about something I'm sure meant he was perfect and we would never have allowed him to get away with anything of the sort. Maybe he's right. Maybe not. I'm pretty sure it doesn't matter because to him I'll always be wrong.

Hubs returned with the rest of the items from our list, and we rushed toward the check out lines. While a few of our fellow shoppers probably judged us, I was at least satisfied we didn't break anything or have to remove our children from the store.

Not that we've ever had to do that . . . yet. 

How about you? Ever take your kids somewhere and regret it? OR, if you are a kid, have you ever been with your parents on one of these shopping trips?


  1. While I was in college I worked several different part-time jobs, including retail. I always hated seeing parents drag their kids into the shop when they were in a hurry or late getting them to school. The parents would always yell at the child like it was their fault they were late. The worst was when they'd bring their kids in and, naturally, the child would ask if they could have some sweets or a bar of chocolate, and the parent would give out, saying no they couldn't, because they needed money for cigarettes.

    So, don't sweat it about your recent trip. You did just fine, and better than many parents I've seen.

  2. You ARE a horrible parent...join the club. :)

    That sounds a lot like many of my shopping excursions. Or, Saturdays at home for that matter.

  3. Thank you, Paul. We try. Sometimes I think we try so hard we'll fall over dead, but we try. :-)

    And, Michael, if you ask Kid #1, he would probably agree we are the worst parents on the planet. But I definitely don't agree. haha

    Saturdays with all the kids at home can be pretty rough, too.

  4. Welcome to the wonderful world of parenting. I can laugh about it now, but there were days I pondered the continued life of a couple of my kids.

    There is revenge though down the road. The little monsters grow up (As long as you don't strangle them), they get married (yeayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy) and give you grandkids... and when they complain about the little darlings you just say. "really, what a shame, but I was your mother and this is my revenge". Mwa Haa Haaaa

    The main reason you take them with you quite honestly is, you can't find a baby sitter and the big one would kill the younger one if left home alone.

  5. You're so right, Nora! Kid #1 would have #2 and #3 locked in his closet or something while he was playing video games. I could leave Kid #1 at home while the rest of us went to the store, but then he'd be having fun while the rest of us were contributing to the family. So, it's torture for everyone!

  6. Haha, it all sounds like fun to me. No temper tantrums! I only have 1, so no sibling warfare around here. But when your baby is turning 25 - OMG is he really? - UGH! - anyway, I miss those days, as most of us do when our kids become grown-ups. So when he text me from work to ask me to make him a Dr. appointment today, I didn't mind at all. Do they ever really grow up?

    1. I don't think kids ever really grow up, no. But I wish they wouldn't fight!

  7. Funny! :) sounds like just about every shopping trip...loads of fun!

  8. Sounds very familiar. I don't take as many kids these days. I leave kid #1 at home most trips these days. So I only have to deal with the temper tantrums of one child. I think most parents understand it. My husband has a similar disappearing superpower. Funny how that is. But then we never go to the market as a family. My husband would rush through there so fast we would forget half the list. LOL.

  9. So this is what I have to look forward to?!? Having two kids is really starting to frighten me! Luckily right now, my child is extremely good in public. She doesn't usually like to be loud because she doesn't like when people stare at her, and she loves walking around staring at random people. I have a feeling that the one in the making currently is going to be an absolute terror. I can just feel it!


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