Monday, February 6, 2012

LIES #TheWritersCollection

*Disclaimer: This post is full of lies.*

I look forward to waking up every morning before the sun rises. Parting ways with my bed is potentially the best thing I'll do all day. I don't need sleep. I don't like sleep. Once I shower and say goodbye to the family I don't love, I know my day is destined to get better. Sitting in my car for over an hour with perfect strangers, while commuting fifty-miles to Washington, DC, brings me joy. I cannot deny it.

Once I walk into my office and see hundreds of papers stacked on my desk, I smile. Ahh. This is the life. Seven hour days should be increased to ten. I'd be more productive, and then I wouldn't be forced to go home where I do nothing but play stupid games with my family. And don't even get me started on cooking and cleaning for the heathens. Why did I have kids again? I should have just purchased a small apartment in the city so I could be at my employer's beckon call.

Last year I wrote a novel or two. What the hell was I thinking? I hate writing. Then I made the mistake of submitting it to a publisher . . . and they accepted my crappy work! Maybe they're insane too? An enemy of mine suggested I become involved in social media to help promote my worthless second career. My dismal success with Twitter, Facebook, and Blogger further explain why I hate her.

Pushing paper is what I love. Not my family. Not writing. Not the sunshine or the birds soaring through the blue sky on warm summer days. I want to be chained to my desk the rest of my life, slave to other people's hopes and dreams. That life keeps me grounded, prevents me from allowing my imagination to run wild.

Who needs creativity? Who needs freedom? Who needs time with their family and friends, time to get lost in books, time to fall asleep on white sandy beaches?

Not me, folks, and I bet not you either.

To read other author's personal take on the topic LIES, go to www.thewriterscollection.com

19 comments:

  1. Go Patriots!! Wait... That was a huge lie!

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  2. I'm so glad they're all lies. Like you so much better the way you are LOL

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    1. Haha. Could you imagine if someone actually thought that way? Ooh. Maybe they do. Scary!

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  3. This made my day. You are a much more convincing liar than I am. I'm more of a whiner. Thanks for the laugh.

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    1. I'm glad I made your day. It was fun to write!

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  4. So I read this: "Sitting in my car for over an hour with perfect strangers, while commuting fifty-miles to Washington, DC" and I thought, no...then I read your 'About Me' and it was wow...

    I lived off Old Keene Mill Road for about eighteen months, used to slug-line in to Pentagon to the range line, then two stops to work. when we talked to the landlady about public transport she pointed to the local bus stop and told me to wait there to get to the Pentagon where I could grab a train.

    I asked which bus number and she laughed. 'You won't need to take the bus.'

    Blew me away. Guys with more stars and stripes on their arms that I've ever seen, pulling over at the bus stop and picking up a couple of people to get in the HOV line. Didn't take the bus once.

    That was almost twenty years ago. Glad to hear slug lines still exist.

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    1. ...not the 'range line', the 'Orange line'...

      Not enough coffee...

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    2. The lines still exist and are the best way to get in and out of work in this area! Nice to meet a fellow, however former, slugger!

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  5. This is an awful post! *LIE* Nice one K ;-)

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    1. Thanks, Derek. Got me to think about a potential book!

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  6. This definitely brought a chuckle to my day...thanks!

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    1. You're welcome! :-) Glad you enjoyed it!

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  7. I swear, sometimes it's like you're in my head! lol I don't have the commute, which can be a curse more than a blessing (since my work is always at home with me). But everything else sure did resonate. Lovely post!

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    1. Thanks. And I wrote it just for fun. I'm really not as miserable as it may seem. ;-)

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  8. Ha! Fun read! I sure do know where you're coming from. I may not check into a job in the same as you, but I feel it. My job is always here and I never get a weekend off.

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    1. Staying home with kids is tough. You don't get free time or breaks. I imagine how hard that must be at times. :-)

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