My Wildest Moment

So I've asked you guys to post your Wildest Moment for the blogfest/blog hop, and I think it's time for me to talk about mine. Yes, talk. Sometimes my most inspired moments occur in the car, and rather than pull over and write them down, I record them.

LISTEN HERE====>>>>>My Wildest Moment<<<<=====LISTEN HERE

For those of you who'd prefer to read a transcript of my Wildest Moment, I've been generous enough to type this for you.

Enjoy!

I've had a lot of wild moments in my life. A lot of wild moments. But not all of them were particularly inspirational. A lot of them were definitely life changing. Not always for the better either.

If you're close to me, you know that my teenage years were troubled. Troubled would be putting it lightly. If you're not close to me, you probably think that I'm a very innocent, modest woman who rarely uses foul language and is sweet as pie--and you would be totally wrong.

Although I'm not that same troubled teenager I was--I have definitely recovered from that dark period in my life--it's definitely made me the strong woman I am today. Now, however, this is about wild moments.

So, again, I had a lot of wild moments. But one particularly wild moment in my life, one that really changed my course, was when my poor parents couldn't take my troubled youth-self anymore. You know, they put me through hell, I put them through hell, and we both seemed to be fighting for what we believed in and what was right, and they just kind of hit a breaking point with me. They asked me to sign a contract to live under their roof. They thought, alright, she doesn't want to be homeless, let's have her sign this contract. She has to abide by a certain amount of rules, and if she doesn't, she can't live here anymore.

This contract was like a beacon for my troubled teenage self. It screamed SIGN IT SIGN IT SIGN IT. BREAK IT BREAK IT BREAK IT.

LEAVE.

This is all I ever really wanted to do was leave, run away from my problems. I wanted to be--it's not so much that I wanted to run away from my problems, but I thought that if I could get a fresh start, if I could get out of the rut I was in, that I would somehow magically be better.

I was wrong, of course, but anyway, I digress.

So I signed this contract, gladly, knowing that I had every intention of breaking it. And I did. Really fast. And I remember the argument with my parents. I'm sure it tore them--they probably remember it more than I do. But I just remember that feeling of relief when I came home after breaking that contract and thinking finally I have an escape, I can escape all this darkness, I can leave it behind me.

And so I left. We fought. I left.

And I kept my job at an Ihop, and I lived in my friends' apartment with them.

And let me tell you: life wasn't any better.

I was a 16 year old girl trying to live on my own, and luckily I had friends who had apartments and I wasn't totally homeless, and I did have a good job where I made decent money as a waitress, which is not a lot of money, but as a 16 year old, you don't really have a lot of bills. So it seemed like a lot then.

But, since I was a 16 year old girl, my parents had a conversation with my employer, and my employer let me go. My parents came to me, waving a white flag, and they said, alright Krystal, you can't keep going down this path. This isn't the life you want to live.

I knew they were right. For once, I kind of agreed with them.

I knew this was not the life I wanted to live. Krystal Wade--not my real name, but Krystal Wade--did not want to live a life of working in restaurants and living out of other people's apartments and having a broken family life.

I knew that. I knew that's not what I wanted.

So when they came with their white flag and said, your sister, in Virginia, has offered for you to come and live with her. I jumped on it.

I left everything behind. I didn't say goodbye to my friends. I didn't say goodbye to my boyfriend. I just got in my parent's car, let them take me down to my brother's house in Dallas while I was waiting for my plane trip. I had a small duffle bag full of things that I probably didn't need, and I flew to Virginia.

All because I was wild and I broke that contract.

And let me tell you: my troubles followed me because part of my trouble was with myself. My trouble was that I didn't believe enough in myself, I didn't believe I was truly a good person, I didn't believe I was deserving of love--and not even my own love.

But that move, that move, that wild moment where I just fled, I knew that I could make things better. And I did. I worked really hard. Things did get worse before they got totally better, but I made a life in Virginia. And let me tell you, you can make your own life, you can carve out your path in any mountain that stands before you. All you have to do is carry that determination with you and move forward, and it doesn't matter who stands in your way, you can carve out a wonderful life for yourself . . . if you try.

So, the point of this story: even when times are dark, even when you are at your wildest--maybe not best but wildest--moment and you do something totally life changing, it can still work out okay, and I'm living proof of it.

Every day, I think that thank God, thank GOD!

So, that is all. That is my wildest moment. I do not recommend that anybody ever get in enough trouble where they have to sign a contract to live at home with their parents. That is all.

Thank you for listening.